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MEN AND MASCULINITY
After working as a counselor at Big Brothers and Sisters of Marin with boys who had no father in their lives, I have seen first hand how difficult it is for young men to grow up with no male role model. I believe men can be masculine and sensitive, capable and vulnerable, decisive and nurturing, and that these traits are not mutually exclusive. While many men are unclear how to integrate these divergent qualities, I have seen during the course of treatment that it is well worth the effort. Through exploration of these issues, men become more self-confident and aware of their strengths and their weaknesses. They are better able to handle the challenges that life puts before each of us and, most importantly, they become happier with who they are in the world. CALL for a FREE PHONE CONSULTATION |
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Despite advances in gender equality, boys still feel considerable pressure in our culture--to be aggressive, stoic, competitive, and independent-- and how they negotiate these pressures will have an impact on the man they become. While boys tend to pattern their masculinity after their fathers, many fathers had poor relationships with the men in their lives and so they feel ill-equipped to guide a son now. Additionally, because of divorce, substance abuse, the pressures of work and other factors, in many families the father is physically or emotionally absent or unavailable.
When a profound need goes unmet in childhood, the search for understanding and mastery continues as an adult. Men will often respond to these unmet needs by becoming depressed or by acting out and looking for ways to prove themselves--over and over again. This can become a self-destructive quest that leads to risk taking, violence, anger issues, substance abuse, compulsive sexual behavior and problems with intimate relationships.